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Before I knew it I was walking over to her bed slowly and was about to reach over to caress the side of her face when she stirred again. This time much more than before.She was awake!I threw myself on the floor and lay very still.Oh no! Did I wake her? Not only was interfering with her everyday life I was disrupting her sleep as wellnow. Yes I was greedy.Happy now? I thought to myself angrilyBella sat up in her bed and rubbed her eyes. I tried to slide under bed discreetly in case she got out. Atthat moment I remembered what Rose had said.‘’Pathetic’’This truly was pathetic. I shouldn’t even be here.I heard her slump back down and I very quickly and quietly shifted to a shadow near the corner of theroom. I should have gone out the window. But all logic, all reason was beyond me now. Bella could wakeup and see me right here and I wasn’t even thinking about leaving anytime soon.I shook my head. And I thought sheneeded to be in a facility for herhealth? She tossed around some more. She really wasn’t peaceful this night. I wanted very much to lay next toher. To hold her. To ease whatever agitation that wasn’t allowing her to sleep. But I would probably justmake it worse. Throw her dreams of me into nightmares.As right they should be. A monster like me had no place in the dreams of an angel‘s creation. I had toleave her room right this moment. I looked at the window. ‘’Edward?’’ She said in a questioning tone. I froze. Had she really seen me? Was I really being socareless? She whispered my name again and threw her arm over her covers and encircled them with asmall smile on her face.I was undone.Sleep my sweet Bella. Sleep.I thought. And I let my back slide down the edge of the wall as I madepreparations to watch her sleep until the sun disturbed me.4 'Chapter 14 - Division' It had been only less than an hour since I slid out of Bella’s window and raced through the forest to getto my home. I had freshened up and changed for school. Funny I had never been eager for school beforebut Bella had abruptly changed that. She was changing more than just that though.I signed and shookoff the thoughts.Alice threw me the keys of my Volvo. As I caught it she gave me a solemn look and put her hands on herhips. She didn’t have to say anything. Or even think it for me to know what she wanted. I wasn’t yetrinsed of my blissful mood so instead of answering her and ruining the day before it began; I lookeddown and walked towards the back of the house. Rosalie was already at her car. Thankfully her vanitywas my saviour today. All she could think about was whether or not to give her shiny car a once overbefore parading it in school today.Oh not riding with us again, Edward? Emmett asked me.I turned around to look at him walking into the garage with Jasper close behind him holding Alice‘s hand.Her face still had the pout firmly in place. I said nothing but my mood was souring pretty quickly. Givingthem all a quick icy look, to silence their judgments, I climbed into my car and backed out of the drive.My mood started to lift slowly the closer I got to Bella’s house. Closer to having her near me again. Asmall part of me still hoped she would decline my invite. Refuse to ride in my car. Reject being next tome. A small part of me wanted her to keep her distance. To ignore me. But that small part was gettingsmaller with each day. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.I parked on the corner of her street and watched Charlie go pass in his cruiser then swiftly pulled into hisspot on the drive.My eyes focused straight up to her room window. I saw her steal a look through it, faintly hearing herheart skip half a beat as a lovely blush filled her cheeks. She was obviously hoping that I would be hereagain. The same as yesterday. I wondered how long I could continue this bizarre routine with her… Thisshould end it now. Before it’s too late.It already is too late.I thought remembering my anger at the similar words she spoke to me the othernight. Half growling to myself I was uneasy now because I couldn’t find that comfortable spot I had beenin just recently. Trying to make right of a very wrong situation with no hope in sight.I watched her carefully, without making it apparent, as she closed her front door and walked towards thepassenger side of my car. I almost hit the locks and bolted out of her drive but as she got closer Icouldn’t stop her, or rather I didn’t want to stop her, from opening the door and climbing in. “Good morning” I said through a smile I didn’t even know had formed. “How are you today?” I lookedover her face and remembered how poorly she had slept. “Good, thank you.” she replied.Her eyes bright but the circles underneath contradicted them “You look tired” I pushed, hoping to knowmore about what had kept her so restless. “I couldn’t sleep” she said simply without further elaboration. How frustrating this still was. Howfrustrating that I would never know. I watched her tuck her long brown hair around her shoulder. Tryingto conceal her neck? Bella was trying to ease mytemptation?! I shouldn’t be amused by the thought, butI couldn’t help it. Slightly disgusted with myself and more so exasperated at her complete off sense of self preservation I let it go and started the engine instead. “Neither could I” I replied to her casually She let out a small laugh as she responded “I guess that’s right. I suppose I slept just a little bit morethan you did” “I’d wager you did” Before I could speak again her questions were back “So, what did you do last night?” “Not a chance.” I interrupted, there was too much I didn’t know about her. And I wanted to knoweverything “It’s my day to ask questions” “Oh that’s right’’ she replied her brow creasing for whatever unknown reason this displeased her “Whatdo you want to know’’ “What’s your favourite colour” I started off quickly.She rolled her eyes as if she had expected much worse “It changes from day to day” “What’s your favourite colour today” I pushed “Probably brown” What an odd choice. “Brown?” I mused with doubt in my voice. But before I could even ask why it waslikeshereadmy mind. “Sure brown is warm. I miss brown. Everything that’s supposed to be brown - tree trunks, rocks, dirt -it’s covered up with squashy green stuff here” I was staring into her eyes now as I listened. Why did Iquestion her choice of colour? It was beautiful. Deep. Captivating.Stop starting at her I scowled at myself. “You’re right” I composed my thoughts and looked away. “Brown is warm” I concluded out loud.Instinctively my hand reached over towards her. I wavered for less than half a second before brushingher hair back behind her shoulders.She shouldn’t have to worry about my temptations. She shouldn’t have to worry about anything.As I drove into the school, easily pulling into a parking space, I turned back to look at Bella again. I didn’twant to have to part and go to class. I wanted her to stay in this car with me. I wanted to look into hereyes some more. To watch her lips move as she talked. To smell her scent as she played with her hair.Ignoring the burn that formed now at the back of my throat I knew I didn’t want her away from me foreven a moment.Stop it.I fought with myself again.It’s already gone beyond the realms of sanity, do I really need to push this any further .No I wouldn’t need to push. That was the problem. This was going tospin out by itself whether I pulled or pushed.I was bounding out of control and I needed to be reignedback in.Bella belonged in the sunlight. I belonged in the darkness. Where my true self could never seen.Exiled.The way I stared at her, the way she smelled to me…She should be running from my car right about now.There just wasn’t, and never will be, any common ground between us. Safer to continue my quizzing. “What music is in your CD player right now?” As she mentioned the name of the band I let a half smile reign over my face and my recent thoughts.The irony was, as always, just on time. I reached into my CD compartment, flipped through the CD’s tofind one in particular. I couldn’t help but feel a little smug at proving myself wrong.No common ground Imused… “Debussy to this?” I handed Bella a CD. She looked at the cover and recognised it. It was the same CDshe had just mentioned.The day continued in a lazy, repetitive pattern. But I never bored.As usual her silent mind gave me no answers so I asked question after question. Revelling in thefascinating details whilst walking her to her classes, through to the lunch hour. I gathered the kind of movies she liked. She hadn’t travelled very much but she yearned to explore the world. I asked abouther favourite books. This seemed to enthuse her. She had a lot to say on what a good book should belike and what she had read. She answered all my questions, mostly with a perplexed uncertainty. Some,though, made her blush. This would amuse me and I pressed the subject further just so I could watchthe colour in her cheeks deepen. Now I was intrigued as to why a simple question about her favouritegemstone, which she said was topaz, had reddened her cheeks so quickly. “Tell me” I demanded afterher reluctance to answer.She looked away from my face and sighed in defeat. Playing with her hair she spoke quietly “It’s thecolour of your eyes today.” She looked anxious as she added “I suppose if you asked me in two weeks I’dsay onyx” Brushing it off completely, before I started to get irritated at her close observations, I resumed with thenext question. “What kind of flowers do you prefer?” She seemed just as pleased for the subject change.My quizzing paused in Biology as Mr Banner had decided to finish the video we were watching onPhotosynthesis. I discreetly slid my chair a little further away from Bella in anticipation of that strangeelectricity that seemed to intensify in the darkened room.It didn’t help. At all.I watched Bella in the dark as she leaned forward on the table resting her chin in her folded arms. Istarted at her face for a long moment before my eyes wandered over her hair noticing her handsclenched over the table’s edge just like mine.No common ground I thought again without humour. Thehour dragged on the same as before and same as before I had the urge to reach over and touch her softskin, to feel the warmth of her hand in mine. Several times I almost did but stopped myself. I knew thatit would open a flood gate. But nothing was stopping me from making mistake after mistake. As thevideo ended and the lights were back on, I stood and was about to walk out the door and never look backbut my feet refused to move. I was frozen on the spot. I realised now that it was not about if Iwould walk away from Bella. It was about if Icould.And in this moment, it was clear, I could not.As I walked Bella to her gym class in silence I folded into myself. I had no will left. Every ounce of energyI was putting into keeping my distance from her was futile. She was the center of every thought I hadnow. How could I escape that? We stopped in front off the gym I reached out, with no second thought orany hesitancy, and touched her face with the back of my hand. The fire never ceased to shock me.I turned without a word and walked to Spanish. Emmett was waiting for me, leaning against a walloutside of class.Hey kid, you look a ton better than this morning.He assumed “Thanks” I mumbled quietly. I didn’t know how to respond to the wordbetter.We settled into class.Ibegan to rummage through the minds of Bella’s classmates and teacher. Trying every angle to get abetter view of her face. That boy Newton was still in a hostile mood towards Bella. This annoyed megreatly mostly because his hostility was misplaced. I wanted nothing more than to go over there andsnap his frail racket holding arm…Hey Edward what’s wrong.I looked at Emmett and I realised I was almost out of my seat. “Nothing” I whispered climbing back in. Then I signed quietly. How long was I going to keep this mutedbarrier up against my siblings? “It’s Mike Newton” I added “He’s really beginning to bother me” Emmett didn’t think anything more on that. And I listened to his thoughts coming out with a dozenreasons and conclusions to this ‘mess’ as he called it.Class was finally over and I gave Emmett a defeated look and hurried to the gym. To Bella.A wide smile spread across her face and she sighed quietly to herself. I smiled back just as wide andrelieved.I didn’t allow too long of a silence before my questions began. This time I wanted the whys and hows of her answers. I wanted to know about her life before Forks. Before me. Although that wasn’t a pleasantthought it was as if I was trying to compensate for not being able to see into her mind. The firstraindrops started to give way to heavier ones as we sat in front of her father’s house for hours while shetold me every scene, every scent and every detail from her life in Phoenix. I noticed the time as shefinished off the description of her old messy room. “Are you finished” She asked at my silence. “Not even close - but your father will be home soon” “Charlie!” She said loudly, as if she had forgotten where we were. “How late is it” her eyes widenedslightly as they found the clock. “It’s twilight” I said mostly to myself. I looked across the horizon as I wondered whether to continue thatsentence. I looked back at Bella, she was staring at me like she knew there was more “It’s the safesttime of day for us” I caved. “The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way… the end of another day,the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don’t you think?” “I like the night. Without the dark, we’d never see the stars. Not that you can see them here much” Sheanswered and I laughed at her continuous findings of faults for Forks. “Charlie will be here in a fewminutes. So, unless you want to tell him you’ll be with me on Saturday…” “Thanks, but no thanks” She started gathering her books. “So is it my turn tomorrow, then?” “Certainly not!” I scowled with a smile. “I told you I wasn’t done, didn’t I?” “What more is there?” “You’ll find out tomorrow.” I concluded and reached across to open her door. In the midst of hearing herheart starting to race I heard a car nearing the house and another voice. I had to calm myself fromalmost ripping the door handle off. “Not good” I said quietly “What is it?” Bella asked a little shockedI looked at her bewildered expression and said “Another complication” I let the door fly open and quickly moved away from her. A dark car pulled up on the curb. My controlwasn’t going to last. Bella needed to get inside her house. Now. “Charlie’s round the corner” I saidgrimly. She instantly climbed out and into the rain. I glared back at the car and sped out of there withoutanother word. 'Chapter 15 - Back and Forth' “Should I say ‘have fun’ or is that the wrong sentiment?” Bella asked turning back to look at me. “No ’have fun’ works as well as anything” I said grinning at her candidness “Have fun then” “I’ll try. And you try to be safe” I cautioned “Safe in Forks - what a challenge” She said sarcastically “For you itisa challenge.” How little she knew herself “Promise.” I urged “I promise to try to be safe. I‘ll do the laundry tonight - that ought to be fraught with peril” “Don’t fall in” I said keeping with her mocking tone “I’ll do my best” I stood up. Bella followed suit and sighed “I’ll see you tomorrow” She looked unhappy and I knew why. Because I felt it too (though I knew I would see her before she sawme). “It seems like a long time to you, doesn’t it?” And she nodded confirming what I thought. “I’ll be there in the morning” I said and reached over to touch her face, brushing across her cheekbone.When I realised what I was doing I turned and walked away without another word.Alice was at the car, grinning, as I approached. She was ecstatic to have made contact with Bella today.As if that was a green light for her.She didn’t have free reign yet . I grimaced at her thoughtsI drove home in silence… on my part anyway, I couldn’t control Alice’s thoughts. But I knew if I saidanything it would just worsen the images in her head. I parked the car in the garage and made my wayinto the house with Alice just a step behind. Esme was in the dining room and Alice skipped around me tokiss her on the cheek. And then they both turned to look at me. I shifted on the spot and put my handsin my pockets, not able to meet their gaze I stared at the tips of my shoes. They didn’t speak but theirthoughts were almost identical. Neither of them saw me making a mistake. They didn’t think of it thatway. They were sure I wouldn’t undo Carlisle’s teachings. My fingertips found the bottle cap in my rightpocket as I looked up at Esme. Through her mind I saw my face. It looked agonised, pleading almost.She was by my side in an instant, her hand on my face “You won’t fail, Edward.” she tried to reassure me “You are stronger than you think, son” “She’s right Edward,“ Alice chimed in “Do you really think I would let you be alone with Bella if I saw youhurting her? I wouldn‘t be able to bear it almost as much as you” “I guess you’re right Alice but…” I couldn’t bring myself to say my uncertainties out loud. Looking atEsme’s clear, determined face and then at Alice’s, how could I tell them when they had such faith in me?I couldn’t break that. No I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.I shouldn‘t…“We’ve got to go Edward, Bella will have finished class soon” Alice cut through my thoughts13 “Yes of course “ I said too formally. And hurried out the door giving Esme a half smile. She beamed backopenly.Alice and I reached Bella’s house and she gave me a wink and she flew to get the key from under theeave and let herself in. I trailed right on her heel but once inside I didn’t follow her upstairs to Bella’sroom. I lingered in the hallway waiting for Alice to find the key. She was back in an instant “Ready?” Sheasked in her high voice.I looked at the inside of the house one more time, I’d only seen it in the dark before. I sighed andheaded out the door “Don’t forget to put the key back under the eave, Alice” I called behind me but heranswer came from near Bella’s truck “All done” she smirked at me.I got into the drivers seat and Alice handed me the key as she slid in beside me. We were halfway to theschool when Alice spoke “Edward, I love Bella too, you know. And I couldn’t possibly let anything happento her” I didn’t speak “And you know how Jazz feels now. He doesn’t understand but he won’t step out of line.“ “Yes, Alice but maybe Emmett and Rose…” She cut me off “Oh Emmett thinks you’re crazy, sure, but he means no harm.” She was silent for amoment as she thought about Rosalie “Rose’s hostility towardsmedoesn’t bother me as much as her thoughts towards Bella” I retorted back ather thoughts “Hmmmm yes Rose. She just needs… time. That’s all. She’ll come around soon. She just doesn’t see ityet butobviously I do” She didn’t sound convincing and her thoughts betrayed her. Rosalie was going tobe a problem. That much was certain.We reached the school and I parked the truck easily.Alice jumped out and waited for me. I turned the engine off and left the key in. Then I pulled out my penfrom my inside jacket pocket and looked for paper in the glove compartment “On the floor behind your seat“” Alice helped. I looked at her half scowling but she just smiled backinnocently. I found the note pad, tore a piece off and threw it back behind me. I thought about what towrite but decided that there was only one thing I needed Bella to do for me before I was able to see heragain.Be safeI folded the note, got out of the truck and placed it on the seat. 'Chapter 16 - Ready or Not ' Elks never seemed to satisfy me, but I didn’t want to go very far. And in the park that was all Alice and Icould find of substance.She didn’t actually hunt much. Just watched me most of the time. She wasn’t thirsty, just accompanyingme on this very necessary and fruitless trip. Necessary because I couldn’t allow myself to be thirstytomorrow even the slightest. And fruitless because no matter how many elks I slayed it would be in vainthe moment Bella’s scent caught up to me again.I wouldn’t think of that now.Finishing off my fourth meal of the evening, I felt full to the brim when Alice put her hand on my shoulderEdward, I really think that’ll be enoughI looked up and met her eyes. She had a small crease betweenher brows. Pulling back, sheepishly I cleaned the side of my mouth. Doing this for as long as we have, itwas an art form of sorts and we seldom made much of a mess. “Shall we go back now? Or did you want to test the theory that vampires can‘t get sick?” She teased me. “I’m finished.” I replied “Good. Jasper’s waiting for me and… everyone else is waiting foryou” “Sorry” I felt guilty for making her come with me when she didn’t need to but I wasn‘t looking forward toanother round with my family. “It’s okay, they won’t be too much trouble. And this trip was for Bella” I narrowed my eyes and murmured “For Bella.” She laughed her bell like laugh and started to run backCome on slow coach, You need to change before you go to her house don’t you? Reaching the house before her, of course, I leaned back against the wall to wait, grinning when shefinally caught up “Slow coach?” I said feigning innocenceShe squinted her eyes at me and darted into the house. I wasn’t as eager to follow but I figured I mightas well get it over with, Bella will be sleeping soon and I didn’t want to miss a moment.As I hesitated by the door I heard Emmett talking “Rose, come on, he’s done well so far give him somecredit” “That’s only because there were always too many witnesses” she hissed back. “Not true…” Emmett began stifling a laugh “He’s with her alone in her room most nights or don’t youknow?” “Thanks, Emmett… But I’m not worried about his creepy, perversebehaviour.” She accentuated the word’perverse’ making me cringe “I like it here. I really don’t want to have to move again so soon, that’s all” Emmett was too busy laughing, when I finally walked in. He turned to look at me which only made hislaughter more boisterous. I shook my head trying to rid myself of his thoughts. 'Chapter 17' “YOU are going to ruineverythingtomorrow.” Rosalie shrieked at meI looked at the floor, not out of embarrassment but to control my anger. I wouldn’t be able to stop myself if she said anything about Bella. “Rosalie please…” Carlisle began “Oh what’s the point Carlisle? He’s made his choice. He’s chosenher over his sister. Over all of us” “That‘s not the case here” Carlisle continued his voice hardening. “Yeah, it’s called faith, Rose” Alice’s joined in “You’re all just placating him, making it worse until it‘s…” she narrowed her eyes refocusing on me “Untilit‘s meal time” That did it. “Edward don’t!” Alice shrilled but it was too late. Before I knew it I was airborne, lunging for Rosalie. Iheard a snarl rupture from her as I collided with Emmett who had darted between us. He wrapped hishuge arms around to restrain me but I couldn’t stop my own snarls ripping through me. Glaring solely onRosalie‘s blazing eyes as she bared her teeth but made no sound.I became aware that a calming wave of serenity was washing over me. Jasper was trying to defuse thesituation but it wasn’t enough to contain my anger.I was ready to try and fight off Emmett when I felt a hand on my chest. Esme.She was looking at me with concerned pleading eyes. In her mind I saw my own face. I looked like… likea vampire. I immediately slumped, almost limp, in Emmett’s arms.Rosalie stormed out of the room in the blink of an eye and Emmett let me loose. “Emmett you should go after her” Alice said, her face twisted up in apprehension “Now Emmett… I don’tthink Esme wants herentirekitchen destroyed” Emmett looked at me for a long moment. But he wasn’t angry, just confused. He hated choosing sides.He sighed heavily and then went through to the kitchen.I was about to fly up to my room when Carlisle spoke “Will you be bringing Bella to… meet the family, Edward?” I glanced at him for half a second before slowly turning, with accusing eyes, to frown at Alice. “I was just telling Carlisle the few possible futures I saw for tomorrow, that all” she said with a ring of innocence in her voice and eyes wide.It was impossible not to believe her. My eyes fluttered to Jasper for a second as I answered Carlisle “Idon’t know” There was a ear splitting smash from the kitchen. “If you decide to bring Bella here I’d be more than happy to welcome her” Carlisle continued16 “And I would love…liketo meet her too” Esme began as she started to walk to the back of the house “but right now I’d like to salvage what’s left of my kitchen or Emmett for that matter” she smiled warmlyand disappeared.Jasper’s thoughts filled my mind.I don’t know about bringing Bella here Edward… I’m not sure…He wasscared that he wasn’t strong enough. I looked at him through narrowed eyes “Give him some credit, Edward” Alice cut in bitterly “Just keep your distance” I snapped at Jasper ignoring Alice’s glare.I needed to get out of here. “Sorry” I whispered while fleeting to my room and slamming the door behindme.I couldn’t take anymore of this. Everyday was a chore. Juggling my family and Bella. Sometimes I didn’tknow if I was protecting Bella from my family and myself or protecting my family from Bella? I wasshaking my head as I looked for clothes in my closet. I needed to be near Bella again. My anxietiesseemed to melt away when I watched her sleep.I found a white shirt and blue jeans as there was a light knock on my door. If I ignored her she might goaway. “Oh stop being melodramatic, Edward” Alice walked in without consent “I just wanted to see you beforeyou left, that‘s all” I turned to glare at her as she sat herself on my long black leather couch, folding her hands over herchest tightly. “You love her, and as soon as you realise just how much you’ll stop all this over done brooding stuff” shequipped, winking at me. I couldn’t help giving her a half smile. Iwasrather doom and gloom lately, Ithought as I picked a tanned sweater out. “Hurry up, she’s almost asleep…well she trying” Alice told me whilst eyeing my chosen clothes. Then shechuckled blocking out whatever thought that amused her just then and flitted out of the room. Eyeing myclothes I wondered what that was about. I hurried to freshen up and change.Racing out of the house and running through the forest alleviated me almost instantly. The speed and thewind made me feel free of all the weight I felt in the house. The unneeded air was welcome in my lungsand I breathed it in deep.Bella was fast asleep but her body didn’t look entirely relaxed. She had headphones in with the music stillgoing. I wondered if I should turn it off. But decided against it. Partly because I didn’t want to wake herand partly because that was just excuse to touch her. I shook my head.Instead I sat quietly in the rocking chair thinking of the day ahead. Could I really be alone with Bella forthat long?No witnesses…An echo of the monster inside me reminded. It wasn’t as strong as before. The monsterwas getting weaker.But he was still there.I concluded wryly.Bella seemed more peaceful as the night moved forward.I watched her steady breathing and took in her scent every so often with exaggerated deep breaths. Itburned.Deal with it I told myself and breathed even deeper.I thought about leaving in the morning and cancelling the trip. “Nope” she replied. She hadn’t told her father? “But Jessica thinks we’re going to Seattle together?” At least someone knew that she was with me, Icouldn’t slip up now. “No, I told her you cancelled on me - which is true” “No one knows you’re with me?” How could she be so stupid, didn’t she understand what I was capableof? “That depends… I assume you told Alice” “That’s very helpful, Bella” What an apt time to make jokes. She didn‘t reply and I just got harsher “Areyou so depressed with Forks that it’s made you suicidal?” “You said it might cause trouble for you… us being together publicly” “So you’re worried about the trouble it might causeme- if youdon’t comehome”I tried hard not to raisemy voiceBella just nodded, and didn’t turn to look at me. “Of course you’d make this as difficult as possible for me” I murmured so slow there was no hope of hercatching that.We drove silently for the rest of the journey, if I spoke now it would only come out as a growl orprofanities. Neither of which I wanted Bella to hear.We arrived at the beginning of the narrow marked out trail. Bella parked the truck on the edge and gotout. I waited a moment and watched her remove her sweater and tie it around her waist. She had on asleeveless shirt. He ivory skin looked soft. Warm. I shook my head quickly and looked up at the sky. Thesun was beginning to shine brighter now making the day much warmer. Climbing out, I removed my ownsweater but placed on the seat. Then I slammed the truck door to catch Bella’s attention. I kept my bodyfacing forward into the vast forest awaiting us, but turned my face to look over my shoulder as I spoke “This way” The annoyance was still clear in my voice and I began to walk into the forest. “The trail” Bella’s voice was frightened. “I said there was a trail at the end of the road, not that we were taking it” “No trail” the same panic in her voice. She was actually reacting as she should. “I won’t let you get lost” She seemed like she choked on whatever she was going to say as I turned to smirk at her now. Her eyesmet mine and I was confused by the sadness I saw in them. Why would she beupset ? “Do you want to go home” I asked quietly. I didn’t want her to go but I couldn’t let her be this frightened “No” she replied and then walked beside me closer as if to affirm her answer. “What’s wrong?” my voice calmer now. “I’m not a good hiker. You’ll have to be very patient.” she replied unhappily20 “I can be patient - if I make a great effort” I stared down at her face smiling, trying to ease her fear. “I’ll take you home” I finally promised hoping to relieve her doubts. “If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown, you’d better start leading theway” she said sourly. I couldn’t understand why she would be angry now. I frowned at her but sheoffered me no answer. So I began into the forest and she followed. She seemed to relax once we gotdeeper and I didn’t want her falling so I would hold aside all the damp ferns and moss webs for her. Andwhenever we would encounter obstacles such as fallen trees or rocks I would help her, lifting her gentlyby her elbow. The warmth of her skin stunned me every time. And I could hear her heartbeat accelerate.I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. Maybe it was out of fear. Her eyes were sad whenever I caughther looking at me. We carried on walking mostly in silence unless I offered a question. I was lighter withthe quizzing today. She told me she had killed all her pet fish and this made me laugh loud. It was such arelief to be able to laugh this way. So openly. So fully. It felt so good.We carried on walking through the green maze at human pace. It didn’t bother me to take it this slow. It just meant more time with Bella. The ancient trees continued to bound out around us as we continued onmy path. We were close to the meadow now and the sun was beginning to shine down on the murkygreen, brightening it vividly. I could hear the rhythm of the gentle stream, and see the white, violet andyellow colours of the wild flowers ahead. “Are we there yet?” Bella mockedThat made me smile to hear that her mood was more lifted. “Nearly, do you see the brightness ahead?” She squinted “Um, should I? “Maybe it’s too soon foryour eyes” “Time to visit the optometrist” She was much happier now. I grinned at her ease.After another a few moments Bella began to over take my stride. Walking ahead, almost eagerly, into thebright yellow shades. She walked through into the perfect round meadow looking around at the beauty of it. I stayed behind under a dark shade watching her warily. She turned her head to find me and thenspun her whole body round until her eyes rested on mine. Could I do this? Could I show her what I am.She knew of course, but toseeit… would it be too much? Would she allow me to take her back to thetruck before she started screaming? I sighed almost silently to myself as Bella watched. Anticipation onher face. To my surprise she took a step towards me and smiled. I didn’t move. Again another steptowards me as she gestured with her hand for me to come closer. I held up my hand quickly. I didn’twant her to get too close.Okay it was time. I took one last unneeded deep breath and walked out under the bright glow of themidday sun. “I’m not used to feeling so human. Is it always like this?” “For me?” she hesitated a little “No, never. Never before this” Holding her hands in mine I told her yet another uncontrollable truth “I don’t know how to be close to you. I don‘t know if I can” But I want to. I never want you to be awayfrom me. The last part I couldn’t say aloud.And then surprising me Bella leaned towards me and placed the side of her face against my chest andmurmured “This is enough.” She was right… This was enough. Just to have her so close. Protected. I’d never let anything harm thisbeautiful girl in my arms right now. Least of all me.I leaned down and put my face on her warm head, inhaling the scent of her hair. Was I smellingstrawberries? It was faint but it was there. “You’re better at this than you give yourself credit for” she interrupted my musing. “I have human instincts - they may be buried deep, but they’re there” We sat like that as I watched the sun fade away. The sky changed from a deep yellow to a musty orange.And darker still. Now the sky began to dull into a more grey and Bella sighed, Her breath stirred the airaround us. I realised it must be time for her to head back “You have to go” “I thought you couldn’t read my mind” she said “It’s getting clearer” I mocked. Oh how I wish it were true. But her mind was just as silent as the firsttime I encountered her. And then something occurred to me. Excited me. I pulled her shoulders back.She looked up at me with confusion at my sudden exhilaration “Can I show you something? I asked “Show me what?” “I’ll show you howI travel in the forest” I was thrilled at the idea of showing her how I ran. Showing hermy speed.Now Bella looked even more bemused and slightly fearful. “Don’t worry, you’ll be very safe, and we’ll get to your truck much faster” I half smiled at her. “Will you turn into a bat?” She asked quietly.I boomed with laughter. I don’t know if it was Bella’s face as she asked me that or the sheer anticipationof having a non vampire to share this with but I laughed loud. Louder than I can ever rememberlaughing. “Like I haven’t heard that one before!” “Right I’m sure you get that all the time.”31 “Come on, little coward, climb on my back” She looked at me as if I had just told a bad joke. So without wasting more time trying to convince her Ireached out to pull her on my back. I felt her heart fluttering like a butterfly. Her scent whirled aroundme as she secured her arms and legs around me tightly. Her face next to mine. Her breath on my neck. “I’m a bit heavier than your average backpack” she warned. “Hah!” I exhaled. She wasn’t getting out of this one.I took her hand and pressed my face into her palm, inhaling deeply. “Easier all the time” And it was true.Then I began to run.